What I’ve Learned About People: The Pessimistic People Around Us. Shut up! Can you just shut up? Go away with all your sad stories and life!
Shut up! Can you just shut up? Go away with all your sad stories and life!
As we journey through life, whether in the workplace or at school, we inevitably encounter a variety of personalities. Some people uplift us, while others seem to drain the energy out of a room with their constant negativity. In my personal experience, pessimistic people have been a source of frustration, and I’ve learned to be wary of how they affect my mindset and well-being. Sometimes, you spend so much effort trying to cheer them up, only to realize by the end of the day that the 'bad luck' has rubbed off on you!
Pessimism is a mindset where everything is viewed through a lens of doubt, fear, and often hopelessness. While we all have our bad days and moments of doubt, pessimistic people seem to carry this outlook as a permanent state of being. They often focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right, and they can become consumed by their fears, failures, and limitations. For example, when a colleague constantly complains about the workload or predicts that the team won’t meet its targets, it can quickly dampen the enthusiasm of others, even when things are actually going well. Or when someone in your social circle constantly points out the flaws in every plan or event, it makes you question whether your efforts are even worth it. The problem isn’t just that they have this mindset—it’s how easily it spreads to those around them. A friend who frequently talks about how nothing ever works out for them can make you start doubting your own success, even when you’re thriving. Pessimism can cast a shadow on achievements, and instead of celebrating wins, we might find ourselves worrying about all the things that could go wrong. It’s like having a dark cloud following you around, even when the sun is shining.
When you’re surrounded by people who constantly see the glass as half-empty, it becomes hard not to adopt some of their negativity. A pessimistic person can quickly bring down an otherwise positive or optimistic environment. For instance, imagine being in a meeting where everyone is excited about a new project, but one person immediately shoots down the idea, listing all the reasons it will fail. Their negativity can quickly make the room feel heavy, causing others to second-guess their enthusiasm. It’s almost as if they need others to share their view of the world in order to validate their own beliefs. For example, when a friend constantly complains about their relationship, pointing out every flaw or disagreement, it can make you question the value of your own relationships, even if they’re healthy and fulfilling. But here's the thing—pessimism is contagious. When someone constantly points out what's wrong, it begins to overshadow the good things in our lives. If you have a coworker who always focuses on what went wrong during a project, no matter how successful it was overall, it can make you lose sight of the achievements and start worrying about potential failures. Over time, even the smallest setbacks can feel magnified, and the bright moments in life start to fade into the background.
I’ve found that being around pessimistic people can drain your energy and creativity. Their tendency to focus on what can't be done, rather than exploring potential solutions or opportunities, often stifles growth. For example, imagine working on a team project where everyone is eager to try new ideas, but one person constantly says, "That will never work" or "It’s too complicated." Instead of exploring new solutions or trying different approaches, the group becomes stuck in a cycle of doubt and frustration. Instead of engaging in meaningful conversations or brainstorming ideas, you find yourself stuck in a loop of negativity and defeat. A pessimistic colleague may dismiss your innovative proposal with a comment like, "That’s never been done before, it won’t succeed," and instead of encouraging you to improve the idea, they shut it down entirely. They don’t just express doubt about their own capabilities—they share it with others, often without realizing the harm it causes. I’ve had friends who, when I shared exciting news or future plans, responded with questions like, "Are you sure that's a good idea?" or "What if it all goes wrong?" Over time, these repeated doubts can begin to affect your own confidence and enthusiasm. It's exhausting trying to defend your optimism or explain your ideas in an environment where the default response is negativity.
I’m not saying that we should ignore reality or turn a blind eye to challenges. Life is full of difficulties, and it’s important to acknowledge them. For example, facing a financial setback or dealing with personal loss are challenges that require acknowledgment and action. But there’s a difference between recognizing challenges and constantly dwelling on them. Pessimistic people tend to focus on obstacles, imagining the worst possible outcome. I’ve had friends who, when faced with a career setback, immediately start talking about how they’ll never find another opportunity or how everything is falling apart. Instead of considering ways to adapt or improve, they spiral into a cycle of fear and doubt. This can make even the most hopeful person question their own potential and drive. I once worked on a project where one team member continually highlighted all the possible risks and failures, which made me and others feel anxious about moving forward, even though the project had great potential. The constant negativity made it harder to see the opportunities that lay ahead. In contrast, focusing on solutions and staying open-minded can help us face challenges with resilience, without letting pessimism block our path.
Through my own journey, I’ve learned that it’s crucial to protect my peace and mental space. For example, I used to spend a lot of time with a friend who would always complain about everything—her job, relationships, even the weather. At first, I tried to comfort her, offering solutions, but over time, I realized that nothing ever changed. She just wanted to stay stuck in negativity, and it started draining me. It’s okay to distance myself from people whose constant negativity affects my energy. I’ve learned that this doesn’t mean rejecting them as individuals, but rather maintaining boundaries to protect my own well-being. I choose to surround myself with individuals who inspire me to think positively, to see solutions instead of roadblocks, and to embrace growth and possibilities rather than fear. For instance, when I started working with a new colleague who was always eager to tackle problems head-on, it had such a refreshing effect on the entire team. We began brainstorming together, and instead of focusing on what couldn’t be done, we all worked together to find ways to make things happen. This positive energy not only helped the project succeed but also improved my own outlook. I've also noticed how spending time with family members who lift each other up, offering support and encouragement, makes me feel more energized and motivated to take on life’s challenges. By surrounding myself with people who nurture my growth, I can better serve those around me and create an environment where positivity thrives.
The challenge is learning how to handle pessimistic people without letting them bring us down. I’ve realized that while I can’t control other people’s attitudes, I can control my own reactions. For example, I once had a colleague who always complained about the workload, making every task seem impossible. Instead of joining in and agreeing with their complaints, I started focusing on finding solutions and staying positive. I learned to steer the conversation toward action, like brainstorming ways to tackle the problem instead of dwelling on it. I don’t have to engage in the same negative dialogue or allow their pessimism to become my reality. I’ve also had friends who, whenever I shared exciting news, would respond with skepticism instead of support. Instead of letting their doubts affect me, I’ve learned to focus on my excitement and confidence, knowing that not everyone will share my vision or enthusiasm. In fact, setting boundaries and protecting my energy allows me to better serve those around me, whether they are optimistic or struggling. For instance, I’ve found that by not indulging in constant negativity, I can provide a more positive influence when others are facing challenges. If someone is struggling, I aim to offer encouragement and support, rather than adding to their worries. Ultimately, it’s about creating an environment where both positivity and productivity can thrive.
Ultimately, we have to remember that our time and energy are precious. We deserve to be surrounded by people who lift us up, who encourage growth, and who inspire us to become better versions of ourselves. For example, think about how much more motivated you feel when you're with people who support your goals and offer constructive feedback rather than constant criticism. Positive people push you to reach new heights, while pessimistic ones may only remind you of your limitations. So, if you find yourself constantly surrounded by negativity, it might be time to reconsider how much space you’re giving to those who bring nothing but pessimism into your life. If you have a friend who consistently brings down every new idea you have, it can be draining and make you question your own abilities. On the other hand, spending time with people who encourage you, even when things aren’t going perfectly, makes a world of difference. The more we choose positivity and surround ourselves with uplifting individuals, the more we’ll thrive, and the less impact the pessimistic voices will have on us. I’ve noticed that after distancing myself from negative influences, I’ve been more productive, focused, and overall, happier. It’s like shedding a weight off my shoulders, allowing me to grow in ways I hadn't imagined before.
In the end, I've learned to cherish my peace, focus on the good, and walk away from the negativity that weighs us down. Life is too short to spend it in the company of pessimism. The same goes for you—delete their numbers. You might feel sad and guilty at the beginning, but trust me, you'll be very happy and glad you did it after a week!
